To my children

Since one of the reasons I do this blog, which I am horrible at actually doing lately, is so that hopefully my kids have this as a sort of keepsake of their childhood. So, I decided to write each of them letters on here once a year, hopefully, so that they can read these one day and know how special each of them are to me.

To my sweet Jaxson,
You just turned 7 a few weeks ago. I can't believe how quickly you are growing up. You are in first grade and you love it. You weren't sure how liked it at first, you would get a little nervous each morning, but now you look forward to going every morning. You are learning how to read so well, you have improved so much just in the last couple of months and I can't tell you how proud of you I am. You are really good at math, too. It was your favorite subject until you figured out how much you like to read. I come to your class every Thursday morning to volunteer in your class, I love watching you work hard in centers, and I love watching you interact with the other kids in the class. At first, when it was time for me to go home, you would get upset and not want me to leave. One time, Mrs. Lloyd, whom you absolutely love, had to pry you off of me and talk to you while I snuck out of the classroom. I hated it, but, I knew that once I was actually gone you would be OK, and you were. Now when I leave, you quickly say "Bye Mom" as you and your friends hurry out to recess. Sometimes you wave to me from the playground as I'm getting in my car. I like to drive away as slowly as I can so I can watch you playing and laughing at recess. When I pick you up from school, you always jump in the car with a huge smile on your face. It's one of the best parts of my day! I always ask you what you learned that day, and your response is always "Um...I forgot." Even though I know you didn't forget because you usually tell me after we come home and you have a snack, but, you can always tell me who you played with at recess and who you sat by at lunch! If someone asks you what your favorite subject is at school, you always tell them it's recess, and when I tell you that's not a subject, you roll your eyes at me. You are a definitely my little monkey!

You are becoming such a little man, you love to entertain me and your Daddy and Sister. You have such a fun, happy personality. You love to tell jokes, some of them you make up yourself, and you love to make people laugh. The other night, while I was making dinner, you hopped up on the counter and started helping me. You asked what every ingredient and spice was, and we had to smell each one before we added it to the food. You helped me stir and measure everything. Ella was upstairs with Daddy and it was just you and I for a few minutes. We don't get to spend very much time just the two of us, and I loved every minute of it.

You are doing more and more things for yourself, becoming more independent every day. It makes my heart swell with pride to watch you, and at the same time, it makes my heart ache because you don't need me to do as much for you anymore. You are calling me "Mom" instead of "Mommy" more and more, but, when you do call me Mommy or Momma, I melt, because no matter how old you get, you will always be my baby boy. Although at some point, I promise to stop saying it out loud so I don't embarrass you, which I'm sure I will do on numerous occasions, whether I mean to or not.
You are such a sweet, sensitive little boy. You can't stand it if someone you love is upset or hurt, especially your little sister. Even when someone at school gets their feelings hurt, or hurts themselves on the playground, you always tell me about it, and you are always concerned about them. You have such a big heart and I love that about you. Don't ever change that, not for anyone. It's just one of the many things that makes you so special. Before you were born, I had no idea I could love someone so much, so unconditionally. You are my pride and joy and I love you more than you will ever know, my Sweet Boy!!

My beautiful, sassy Princess Ella,
You are 3 1/2 years old and you are such a beautiful little girl. You love to play with your baby dolls and pretend to take care of them. You put them in their stroller, fill up one of your many purses with as many random toys as you can, and announce that you are going to take your babies on a walk to the park. When you come back from the "park" you tell me all about it, leave the stroller in the middle of the kitchen or family room, despite me telling you to put it away, and you move on to the next thing you feel like playing. You love to get as many bags as you can, many of them are empty beach bags you find in my room, and fill them to the top with whatever toys you can get your hands on. Then, you bring them into the family room and line them all up, you usually bring out 5 or 6, then you get sidetracked, leave the bags in the middle of the room, and get out some new toy. When I tell you to clean your toys up, you give me the sassiest look have, which is pretty sassy, and you say "Mom, I'm BUSY right now." You are hard-headed and unbelievably stubborn, you know what you want, when you want it, and you don't hesitate to let anyone and everyone know when you are mad. I wouldn't change your stubborn, sassy, independent ways for the world. It's just part of what makes you so special, although it can be rather frustrating for your daddy and I. We love you just the way you are!

You absolutely adore your big brother, and he adores you. When he does his homework, you are right there next to him doing yours, which is usually you coloring a picture, or practicing writing your name, which you are getting so good at! You love to copy what Jax says, and even though sometimes he huffs and rolls his eyes at you, he really loves it. Sometimes you do it just to make him mad, and when he does get mad, which you know he will do, you get a mischievous, sassy little grin on your face, which only makes him madder. You know how to push his buttons and melt his heart at the same time! But, most of the time the two of you play so cute together, I love watching the two of you together, even when you are at each others throats. Jax is very protective of you.

Next year you will go to preschool, you are ready, and you will love it. It will make Mommy so proud to watch you as you walk into your preschool class for the first time, but part of me will be sad because my little girl is growing up. I have no doubt that you will make lots of friends with your darling personality. You love to entertain us just like your big brother does. You love being funny and making your own jokes, and you have such a sweet little laugh. Your smile can light up the room, and make my day.

You, my precious little girl, are my pride and joy. You are beautiful, don't ever forget that and don't ever let anybody tell you any different. I love you to the moon and back!

My sweet little Noah,
You aren't even born yet. I don't know what color your eyes will be, whether you will have blonde or brown hair, or what your little personality will be like. But I already know I love you so very much. When you kick, even when you use me as a punching bag, you melt my heart and I fall in love with you even more. I can't wait to meet you and kiss your precious little cheeks, to watch you grow up, to see you with your big brother and sister, and see what your little personality will be like.

Your big brother and sister are anxiously awaiting your arrival. They love to talk to you through my tummy, and everyday they ask how much longer it will be before you are born. Ella says she is going to help change your diaper, and Jax says he is going to teach you how to walk and talk. I have no doubt that they will love you and that you will love them! Everytime I think about meeting you and holding you for the first time, I get so excited that I don't think I will be able to wait another 4 months, it seems so far away, but I know the time will fly by and before I know it, you will be walking and talking. Just don't grow up too fast! Everyday is a little closer to when I will be able to hold you, kiss you and smell your sweet baby breath. Until then, I will savor every kick, even the really hard ones, everytime my entire stomach jumps when you have the hiccups. I love you, precious boy, and I can't wait to whisper it in your ear every night when I tuck you in.

All three of you little monkeys are the reason I get out of bed every morning, the reason I was put here on this earth. All I have ever wanted is to be a Mommy, and I am so lucky to have each of you. I love you unconditionally and more than you will ever know. There isn't a day that goes by that you don't amaze me. I am so proud of every little thing you do, even the little things, like Jax walking into school like such a big boy, or Ella playing make believe with her toys, or feeling Noah kick. I love you all so very, very much, don't ever, ever forget it!!!

Love, Mommy

Girls trip to the nail salon

Miss Ella and I went to the nail salon today to get our nails painted while Jax was at school. She was so excited when I told her we were going and that if she was a really good girl, she could get her nails painted too. She picked a sparkly blue, because blue is her favorite color. She sat there nice and still like a big girl and asked the lady all sorts of questions about why she was using the file or why she had a towel under Ella's hands. When she pulled out the nail clippers Ella said, "Oh! we have some just like that at my house!" she couldn't believe someone else had nail clippers too! All of the ladies thought she was adorable (of course) and she kept all of us well entertained with all of her questions and the funny things she was saying. She even made up a song for all of us too! I love the time that her and I get to spend together, just the two of us while Jax is busy learning at school. Even though we miss Jax like crazy and we can't for him to get home. She has such a cute little personality and I can't get enough of her!

Her nails turned out very pretty and she even got a beautiful little flower on two of them just because she is so special!

Pirate Party!

Jax decided he wanted a pirate birthday party this year. For his friend party, I found little treasure chests for each of the kids to decorate with all kinds of pirate stickers and pirate jewels. They all turned out really cute! We had "pirate pigs in a blanket" and green pirate juice that they all drank out of goblets. We had pirate cupcakes and played pirate games. The kids all had eye patches and hats they got to wear and take home, along with their treasure chests they made. It was a wild, crazy party and I was exhausted when it was over. Thank goodness I had my Mom and Sister here to help me. But, Jax had a blast and he loved his party! Last Sunday we had a family party for him and he got spoiled once again and loved it!! He was sad when all the pirate decorations had to come down, but at least we got pictures of his fun parties!

                        The darling treasure chest cake my best friend, Janelle made!!!! Thanks Janelle!

Jaxson's 7th Birthday

On January 20th, Jax turned 7! Where has time gone and how did he grow up so fast? I remember the day he was born like it was yesterday. When they laid him on my chest for the first time, I couldn't believe that this perfect, precious little angel was mine! He was more beautiful than I could have dreamed and I was so so proud and thrilled that I got to be the one to give birth to him, and to raise him. The night he was born, I hardly slept at all, I just kept watching him sleep in the hospital bassinet next to me. I couldn't quit looking at him. After we were home from the hospital, my Mom was holding him and she said, "Remember how tiny these hands are, because they will never be this small again." Boy was she right! I sat there that night holding his small, soft little hand as he slept peacefully in my arms, and I tried to soak it all in. The smell of his sweet baby breath, the peaceful look he had on his face when he was sleeping, the shape of his lips, everything. When he would wake up in the middle of the night, no matter how tired I was, I couldn't wait to hold him. In the mornings, when I was so tired I could barely walk, and he had been up half the night, as soon as I would hold him in my arms, I would forget how tired I was because I just couldn't wait to spend the day with him. And now my precious little boy is 7 and becoming such a little man. That little baby boy is in first grade and reading, quite well I might add, and growing up more and more each day. He has such a cute little personality.
When I drop him off at school, and watch him walk into class, my heart aches a little bit because he is growing up so fast, meeting new friends and learning new things everyday. I love seeing the big smile he has on his face after school as he walks to the car. He grins at me and waves and I absolutely love it.
When he does his homework at night, and I see how well he is reading, and how much he is learning, I am so proud I could cry. He loves his little sister and she loves him. I couldn't be more proud of the person he has become and the person he will be. Both of my babies, and little Noah in my tummy, are the reason I wake up every morning and I love that Nick and I get to be the ones to raise them and love them with all of our hearts!

Happy Birthday my sweet boy! Mommy, Daddy, Ella, and Baby Noah love you more than you will ever know!!

Fetal Fotos

We went to Fetal Fotos yesterday to see if Mini Martin is a girl or a boy. I checked Jax out of school early because I wanted both kids to be there.

I love going to Fetal Fotos because it's such a fun experience, much different from just the 20 week ultrasound you have at the doctor's office. They have a big TV up on the wall where you watch the ultrasound, plus, you get to find out 5 weeks earlier! The baby was curled up in a little a little ball, the ultrasound tech had to poke my stomach, have me lay on my side for a few minutes, and then poke my stomach some more just to get the little stinker to move so we could see if it was a boy or girl! Finally she got the "bum" shot she needed and we could clearly see that it's a baby BOY!!!!! After we got him to move, we saw several more "boy" shots! We saw his cute little profile, arms, legs, and a nice healthy heart beating! He held his hand up to show us he has all his fingers and even wiggled his toes for us! Pretty cute little toes too!

When she told us it was a boy, Jax stood up and said "YES!!!!!!" He was SO excited!! He said he would have been excited for another sister, but, he is especially excited for a baby brother! Nick and I are thrilled! We didn't have a preference, just a healthy baby, but I have had a feeling that it's a boy. We are going to name him Noah, not totally sure on the middle name yet, but he is definitely going to be a Noah! We can't wait for him to get here in June!

Baby number 3!!!

Jax and Ella are going to have a new little brother or sister the beginning of June! We are all very excited! Jax says he wants a brother and Ella says she wants a sister...go figure! Mommy and Daddy don't care if it's a boy or girl, just as long as we have a healthy baby...and I wouldn't mind it if this nausea and constant sleepiness would go away, but it's well worth it. Hopefully we will find out what we are having in about 3 weeks!

San Francisco

Last weekend I went to San Francisco with my dad, brother, and sister, we left on saturday morning and came back on monday afternoon, it was just a quick trip, but it was great to spend time with them. The main reason we went was to go to a 49ers game. Last year we went to Seattle to a Seahawks game and we had a blast, Colby didn't come with us last year, but he did this year and i was glad he came so I could spend time with him too. On saturday, after arriving in San Francisco and, after finally finding our hotel, we went on a boat out to Alcatraz and  got a tour of the island and inside the prison. It was really neat and creepy at the same time. The prison had a dark, depressing feeling to it, which you would expect, for part of the tour, you had your own headphones and voices of some of the correctional officers and inmates narrated the tour. So it was kind of like you were on your own little tour, which I thought was really neat. You got to see all the cells, which were tiny, some of them had the cots and some blankets and props in there. We got so see where the solitary confinement was. One of the guards let Dani and i go into the cell and the guard shut the door so we could see what it was like to be in solitary confinement...it was pitch black and after about 10 seconds i started getting claustrophobic and wanted out! I can't imagine being in there 24 hours a day. We saw the cafeteria, warden's office, other cells, the library, where the guards would go to have their breaks and the control room. We saw the outside of the apartments where the guards and their families lived, it was hard to believe that children lived on the island too! I wouldn't want my babies living there, but, apparently they felt safe because of all the guards and the belief that the prison was "inescapable". It was really neat and I hope to be able to go back there some day with Nick.

The 49ers game the next day was a lot of fun, our seats were on the 3rd row on the 50 yard line, so we could see everything up close. Colby and Dani got field passes and got to walk around on the field before the game started, Colby even got to have his picture taken with two of the cheerleaders, which made his day! After the game we did a little souvenir shopping for the kids and had some dinner. The weekend went by fast but we had a lot of fun.